I may be noticing the conversation more and more because in my opinion it affects me, but truth be told, I find this constant discussion about girls with short hair absolutely ridiculous, and even more exhausting than watching Tom and Jerry reruns all day. Don't get me wrong, I love my fill of classic cartoons! Did I mention I'm watching it as we speak? However, this cat and mouse game online, in the fashion magazines, on blogs and probably the most traffic heavy totalfratmove, have me irritated beyond belief. I will say from the start that both parties involved in my rant are the extremes, but that doesn't make me any less annoyed by their vocal stupidity.

A very controversial (I only say this because of the rampant feminists that posted the webpage immediately upon seeing it on Facebook) blog post on totalfratmove appeared over the fall.

http://totalfratmove.com/why-girls-should-not-cut-their-hair-short/

This sparked controversy with feminists, man-haters, and anyone who wanted to look for a pointless fight that women can and will do anything. Sorry boys you can't stop us. As you can probably guess, the website, written by a college boy somewhere in back east USA, claims that women lose their femininity when they cut their hair. Guys immediately find them less attractive, if at all, once the luscious locks are gone. Women will find it hard to marry or keep their man happy if they go rogue with a pixie cut. Here's my question for the masses. Why do I care?

This is one guy's opinion and is writing for the generalization of the website's population. So it's curbed for the rest of WASP-y America. GIRLS, back off and take some xanax. In fact, I want some for myself after all of your bickering. If you have a problem with his comments, then I guarantee you won't be marrying him or ever dating someone who believes the same ideals. Actually I would like to see that. I would get a kick out of your relationship, especially when the argument about who takes the trash out becomes a stand-off, and ultimately ends in tragic warfare.

More recently, the polar opposite happened and another website posted about how short hair can be, and always will be, a political statement for women. I caught you with your pants down, didn't I? You couldn't have guessed that plot twist.

http://www.newstatesman.com/laurie-penny/2014/01/why-patriarchy-fears-scissors-women-short-hair-political-statement

Cum again??? Freudian slip, come again???

So does this mean every time I dye my hair, put a headband on, put my hair in a ponytail, or otherwise change the overall look of myself or my hairdo, I'm therefore making a statement to the masses? This concept makes zero sense to me.

I choose to have short hair at the moment because I want to. Plain. Simple. Cut-dry explanation. I'm not making a statement to guys that I like vagina, that I bat for the other team, that I find midgets more attractive, that I secretly want to hook up with only people who resemble the androgynous kind, or the biggest statement of all, that I refuse to make you a sandwich in my pearls. NO. None of it. Who knew that hair could be such a topic of conversation? I have the right to choose my appearance, and if I like it, what difference does it make to the rest of the world.

My sister even gave me some flak because she fears it will never grow long again. I disagree. I have lioness hair and I don't fry the hell out of it. It looks baller without the help of modern day technology. Sorry Charlie, that argument was lost before it even began. Other's told me my long hair was my signature look. What? That's only because they knew me in college, I've had short hair plenty of other times in my life, they just weren't aware of it. I even got asked if I cried when I whacked off, Kill Bill style, my bodacious hair. YES, I pined and perished over my dead cut hair on the dirty floor of the hair salon. Absolutely not! Who are you people? It was a glorious day, and I couldn't have been happier to know I was literally 10 lbs lighter. No More Mane! I was going to growl at you like the MGM lion but I thought that would be a little excessive.

My second point. Femininity is something that I personally believe is something deep within a girl. She either possesses it or doesn't. Hair short or long, does not make you feminine. I bet you can name at least five girls in your lifetime (that's shooting pretty low too) who had long hair, and didn't possess the most girlish attributes or behavior. I like to think of the many girls who fit into this category. They try to dress up and wear high heels, but can't for the life of them understand how to walk or stand in them. It's really not that hard ladies, you just have to be aware of your body!

High heels. That should be the only gauge for femininity. Sexist and old-fashion? Absolutely! But baby it works and it's the truth. I would know, I'm one of them. Oh wait, my application for a sex change was just accepted!

I'll even play an interactive game with everyone. I'm posting a picture of me with long flowing locks that every guy dreams of, and a picture of me with butch, lesbionic hair. Do you agree with me? Did I loose my feminine qualities when I went for the scissors rather than the curling iron? I'm dying to know, and obviously want to perpetuate this notion until it becomes an epidemic among the two parties involved. Let the odds be ever in your favor!

Look at those hair follicles! So Long. I just want to burrow in it and wear it as a coat in the winter.

Uh-Oh! That Bitch had the nerve to steal Miley Cyrus' hairdo. Sound the alarm!