I’m a cute, perky girl who likes to take long walks in the park with my black labrador, dance until morning to T-Swift, and gorge myself to the brim, with pizza and wine until I burst. Even though you just read that little factoid about me, I look like the opposite of Roseanne. You’ll find my profile at the bottom of an article that Facebook told you, YOU MUST READ BEFORE YOU DIE! So you click on it, because you don’t want the FOMO (Farting On Mom’s Oven).

You also clicked on my LENGEN----------wait for it-----------DARY article, which I hand crafted while sipping my non-fat latte at Starbucks on the weekends, to make yourself (and probably myself) feel better about our stagnant and awkward transition into adulthood. BOO HOO, I can’t handle the truth, Jack Nicholson. CALL THE CODE RED!

BUT WAIT, my article will save you! Because it’s bursting at the seams with feel good spirit, to encourage your already habitual life to stay the same. Why change? According to moi, I say you’re FINE (Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, & Emotional)! It’s OK. I’m not a doctor, philosopher, or your scotch sipping grandpa with his pants unzipped, or even YODA, Gandolf, or Dumbledore (The Big 3). NOPE, however, I have so much knowledge to pass onto you, even though WE’RE THE SAME AGE! Cum again? (Freudian slip) Excusé-moi?!? Wait, let me process this information just a few seconds longer……

AND YET, you still read it, because light bulb, you’re a twenty-something too. You’re still traveling with a one-way ticket on the infamous struggle bus.

“And now we return to your regular scheduled programming”….. I get to blog about my life (and yours), and make it sound revolutionary to the common reader. Despite my hard efforts though, my article did nothing more than reiterate what every other L-7 Wienie in the blogging universe is saying, “YOU DO YOU”, and “YOU GO GLEN COCO”. My words did not reinvent the wheel, and I, in fact am stating the obvious motto of the Millennial Generation. Can I get a mic drop for my unoriginal thoughts!

P.S. I take it all back, I love you Elite Daily!

P.P.S. That was the champagne talking.