We've all been there, we've all done it, and we've all been a witness to the behavior; the cell phone at the dinner table.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but as a friend on a Friday night, it was you that decided to come out to dinner with moi, and share the company of moi, and have a discussion avec moi. I didn't force you to come out with me at gunpoint. It was your decision to be my partner in crime for the evening. If you are not that interested in having a conversation with me, and you'd rather have a conversation with someone else on your phone, you should have made plans with them instead. End. Of. Story.

I find it incredibly rude for people to text, check sports stats, or otherwise troll through Facebook while in the presence of wine and a delicious dinner. First of all, THAT IS A SIN!! Food and wine trumps everything!! Second of all, there are so many other things to keep a person occupied at the dinner table, however, the most important thing is that a high school friend posted a Buzzfeed article. Get away from my food!! You ruin all that is sacred and holy, you fun sucker. There is NO ROOM for that at my dinner table. Take that nonsense somewhere else, please and thank you.

I'd much rather have dinner with myself in a vacuum sealed room, because that would be incredibly more fun, rather than sitting next to someone who has to check their phone every five minutes. What catastrophic event happened while we're sitting down for dinner, that it couldn't wait for your attention at another time? The baseball game didn't go anywhere, it's still being played after dinner. Your friend's status on Facebook didn't disappear immediately after it was posted. No, it will be there tomorrow morning. And that text from your college friend about her dress classy get trashy evening can wait. She'll still be dressed classy and getting trashy an hour from dinner.

Where have all the manners gone? Was the person giving you etiquette lessons someone who likes to sit in silence and stare at other things, than the people around them? Silence is not golden in these instances. The movies have it wrong, BUT only in this matter. If you want silence then go to confession, or a morgue, or the north pole, but you better not bring your silence and unwanted behavior to the dinner table.

I know all of you at one point, have been at a restaurant and seen a group of people sitting around the table, and they're all on their phones in silence. YOUTHS! That looks like a fun party to be at. Sign me up and give me a party hat, that's definitely a dinner and an evening for the record books!! All I have to say to those people is Goodnight and Good luck to you all.

Next time a phone appears at my dinner table, I'm going to biatch slap that phone out of their hand faster than you can say technology assault. Or better yet, I'll follow in the footsteps of Ari Gold...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiG68nMtA9s